All Things Are Relative

“All things are relative.” 

Or..so the sages would have us believe.

I once had a teacher who loved to say, “All things are as they should be.” (However, a close friend tells everyone he meets, that the word “Should"...‘should’ be removed from our language, since it just causes angst and anger among those of us who over-use it.)

Here are some example, in my opinion, of things that just “shouldn’t” be...or are "as they should be."


1.  Do you know that not one single every produced and released by the Beatles, has ever sold more copies than “Tik-Tok” by Ke$ha? This was her debut single. Here’s where the “all things are relative” comes into play. There are more people “acquiring” (including ‘purchasing’) music today, than in the late ‘60’s – therefore numbers can be relative. But, God help me…more than any Beatle’s single? This just seems against the laws of nature.

2.  In 2012, one out of every seven Americans had at least 10 credit cards.  Are you kidding me?! With all the hue and cry about the economy, it appears that lots of people haven’t either felt enough pain…or…they are continue the personal laissez-faire financial attitude that helped drive us off the fiscal cliff.

 

Considering that these millions of American don’t see how they are trivializing their own finances, I therefore think this fact falls in the trivia category.

3.  NY Yankee first baseman, Joe Pepitone (the first professional ballplayer to bring a hair dyer into the clubhouse) was born in Brooklyn on October 9, 1940. Big deal? However, another baby born on the same day, across the pond in Liverpool, UK, turned out to be John Lennon (the first pop singer to be assassinated).

 

Now that’s an interesting coincidence. Or, perhaps it is “as it should be.”

4.  Most people know that Edgar Allen Poe
is associated with dark themes, death and lost love. He’s considered the originator of the detective crime novel. But, few – even deep admirers – know that he was considered somewhat of an expert on sea shells. due to a constant need for money, Poe produced an updated adaptation “A Manual of Conchology,” that was released in 1839, under the title “The Conchologist’s First Book.”

For his effort, Poe was paid $50. In today's economy, that would be worth $1,190.50. 

Poe’s novel, “The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym” (which was never very popular) gives readers insight into his love of sea shells. And Poe followers have found a mild influence (by the novel) on Herman Melville’s “Moby Dick.

Mr. Poe seems to have been more than a heavy drinking novelist and poet who lived in the dark shadows in which his characters typically resided. He also worked in "other" modes of expression, to pay the bills. He might have been the Jack Kerouac of his day. But, like modern writers, there is more to them, than their popular novels. J.D. Salinger worked as the entertainment director of a cruise line. Kurt Vonnegut managed a car dealership for Saab. And, John Steinbeck hated his work as a construction worker on Madison Square Garden.

5. Did you know that zucchini isn’t a vegetable? Now, what it is came as a verbal surprise. I didn’t expect to hear/read the following. It is actually an immature fruit – the swollen ovary of the zucchini flower. Well…OK. I can live with that. Speaking of food, what’s with the ever-growing number of reality TV cooking shows? My wife won’t appreciate this, but the cooking programs, while they allow cat fights to occur between warring chefs (or chef wannabes), that often display down-and-dirty back-stabbing and self-acclaimed ego dysfunction leading to melt-downs and sobbing, the food produced is a hell of a lot more entertaining and intellectually mouth watering than anything Project Runway produces. So…what are the top 5 reality cooking shows (as of January 2013)? Is it “Hell’s Kitchen,” “Iron Chef America,” “Sweet Genius,” “Top Chef,” “MasterChef,” “The Next Iron Chef,” “Chopped,” or “Restaurant Wars?” Yes, we listed 8. Three didn’t make the top 5 list. Here goes: #1 goes to “Top Chef.” The Quickfire and Elimination challenges are very popular with viewers. Winners can walk away with $200,000 and a feature in “Food & Wine Magazine.”

 

#2 on the list is “MasterChef,” which features amateur cooks. Starting off with 100 wannabe chefs, who prepare what they call their signature dishes, only 14 make the final competition. Three judges, including Joe Bastianich, Graham Ellio and the infamous (yet sedated) Gordon Ramsay, make the final decision. #3 goes to the often-wild “Hell’s Kitchen.” If you’re into verbal abuse and lots of “bleeping out” of cuss words, this is the show for you. Gordon Ramsay runs a tight ship with brutal truths – even devastating assessments that leave competing aspiring chefs in the dust – and on the floor. #4 on the list is “The Next Iron Chef.” It appears the student has surpassed the teacher. While a spin-off of “Iron Chef America,” this show has moved its parent to a lower position on this list. Two contesting chefs go head-to-head in “Kitchen Stadium,” coming up with recipes that often include some off-the-wall key ingredients. And finally…there is the #5 TV cooking shows. And the honor goes to ”Chopped.” If you recall the reality show, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” you’ll recognize the host of “Chopped” – Ted Allen. Starting out with four chefs, elimination rounds, revolving around mystery ingredients in wicker baskets, provide enough culinary challenges and opportunities for one winner to eventually emerge. Each episode features all new contesting chefs, who prepare their dishes for a panel of three experienced chefs and food reviewers.

 

The other shows mentioned, didn’t make the Top 5 List. Who cares?! I don't. Maybe you do. I find too many of these shows seem frightenly similar. Perhaps they are all “relative,” and their repetitiveness “as it should be.” But I find them a definition of hell. - - - - Just a few thoughts. They be "as they should be," or perhaps they "shouldn't" have happened. I’ve been wrong before. But, I do know that they are trivial.